My friend and I are out for a noble cause. We have crafted a devious plan to awaken the Yorùbá god of Iron, Ògún. You might think, why? Well, let's say that I am keen on the restoration of our heritage... and money.
The backstory is that Ògún, one of the gods in the Yorùbá pantheon or orisha, is blessed with remarkable strength and a rare power to turn anything into pure iron. I mean, anything. Think King Midas but for iron. He just has to will it, and voilà! At the start of human civilization, this elevated him to the status he enjoys today. But because of his naturally long life, his advisers and those who can speak to him without holding back soon died. Lonely, and surrounded by people of less intellect and experience, he soon began spending lots of time in seclusion. By the turn of the century, word had travelled far about his powers and qualities. The American Rail Road Corporation spoke to him, but he wasn't keen on having it, ergo missed out on a huge industry of railways, and technology. Realizing this, he's since been in Ilé Ifè, asleep.
Back to me. Chizara, @chizy_n - Lagos big boy, women wrapper and an overall smart guy, has a stellar plan to rouse Ògún. When I met Chizy, he said to me:
Do you know you can improve your earnings by attracting more patients with greater messaging and incentives?
I asked him how many patients I'd need to see to take Rene on a date, and he's been as coherent as Tolu Ogunlesi ever since. This time, with the aid of diabolical graphs, a demonic 5-year projection plan and a wicked marketing strategy, he's keen to convince Ògún that we can make new alloys of iron to power Maglev trains, special carrier planes, and iPhones with longer batteries. Let's hope it all goes well.
In his royal chair, glass to lips, the oil of libation at his feet and swarms of subjects. Ogun speaks for the first time in years
Excellent plan. I approve of this. Let's get to work.
Also, can we look at closing the gender wage gap?
Fuck me. He's woke!